Ko'u houna, My life.

Dear Ate,

With my mind still struggling to find the words, I can easily say on repeat that this is crazy. You hear about death almost every day, yet this one hits a little closer to home. I don’t want to create an insta post or a facebook post because I barely knew you like that. But I hope my prayers and this post reaches you.

First of all ate, thank you so much for being so kind. Thankyou for showing me what kindness is and can be. When we first met, you turned a what could have been an awkward situation into such a comfortable conversation. At the few events we saw each other, you never hesitated on saying hello first. I’m sorry for being too shy. I regret so much not being able to get to know you better when I still could. You really made every room you walked in brighter. You seem to always be smiling. Yet I only found out in earlier this year that you were carrying such a heavy cross that no one, specially at your age should be carrying. You were so kind, so strong, so loving. Crazy fact, we met at confession and I wasn’t about to go, but something told me I should. And I thank God that I did. And I can’t express it enough, I wish I got to know you better. Thankyou for showing me how big and warm and loving a heart can be. Thankyou again for showing me how to be kind. How to treat other SFC members, specially new ones. Thankyou for always welcoming me. Thankyou for showing me what it is like to be a saint. I hope you’re resting well. Tell God I’m hoping he made the coziest home for you up there. I promise to always do my best to say hi to all the members at events and make them feel loved and welcomed like you did for me. Oh sige, until we meet again ate Kat. =]

God please help me not be shy and be more confident to reciprocate unto others the same love you and Kat showed me. And please please please let Kat be resting in your loving endless embrace. Treat her well. And watch over and be with all those who are mourning, specially her family. In all this I pray to you.
Amen.

This girl unmatched me because I said Sakura from Naruto was useless.

I have to get used to this is how we are with each other now.

For you 난 아파도 좋아

Burt’s Bees Beeswax Lip Balm

Storytime #1

Have you ever kissed someone and felt fireworks? You feel their soft lips upon yours and feel the butterflies going crazy and you feel like you’re on cloud9?
When I was 20 and I was kissing my girlfriend at the time, my lips felt super warm. And my butterflies were up to my head. My lips were tingling to the flaps of the butterflies. And it felt like there were sparks between us. Some magnetic attraction between this kiss. In my head I was like “WOW this is the best kiss ever. I really love this girl! She must be the one.” I was left in awe and infatuation. (No it was not just sexual arrousement.) 
A year later I found out it was because of her CHAPSTICK! Specifically Burt’s Bees with Vitamin E & Peppermint. I tried it on and it gave me a warm tingling sensation on my lips. What I thought was a perfect movie scene of a true love’s kiss sensation was merely the result of a chapstick. Anyways we broke up a few years later. BUT till these day, I believe Burt’s Bees Beeswax Lip Balm with Vitamin E & Peppermint is the best one out there. Use it, trust me. 

One of my biggest turn ons.

When you put your phone down genuinely and spend quality time with me.

A smile is the easiest disguise

I wonder if superman ever felt tired. I wonder if batman ever wanted to just nap. Even with superhuman powers, everyone has their limit, right? Work. Internship. School. Family. Friends. God. Me. Sometimes it feels like I can’t juggle it all. Once I notice one thing is going up, the other is going down. I focus in school, I lose focus in work. I focus more on family, I let my friends fade. Sometimes I feel myself spiritually and physically drained. And I know I shouldn’t. But sometimes I want to shed a tear or two. To stop listening to everyone else’s problems and have someone listen to mine. To feel vulnerable. I went the other day with some of my friends for Sushi. We had to drive a long way to pick up one of them. And Iliterally felt like passing out but I knew I had to stay awake to keep my friend who was driving awake. Inside I didn’t even feel like eating, even if sushi is my favorite. I just wanted to sleep. People always comment on how I sleep early. But nowadays I don’t sleep early enough. Senior year? About to graduate and yet I feel like I still don’t know where I am. Don’t get me wrong I am blessed. I am so thankful for everything I have. It’s just sometimes I want to be able to rest with nothing on my plate and just sit there, with nothing to do. To drive just to fucking drive. I’m just complaining now. Being a little brat. But I’m just overwhelmed. Juggling all this. I just want a timeout.

Probably one of the most annoying thing is when the people who always go to you when they're down and the ones you were always there for, can't even realize that for once you're the one feeling down.